Nirvana

April 28, 2008 at 4:44 pm (Uncategorized)

Ah, Nirvana. That thing we all wish to reach whether we are Buddhist or not.

By one definition, it is a place or state characterized by freedom from or oblivion to pain, worry, and the external world. By another, it is one of the greatest bands to ever exist on this planet.

I like both definitions. And I for sure agree with the second one.

Though I was alive and well, stumbling blindly through my teenage years while the band Nirvana was at its pinnacle, I did not listen to them. I only discovered them six years ago. Perhaps my love of Nirvana is connected to the way I first heard them. Yeah. I know you’re surprised.

So quickly, here is the scene: my BFF and her new boyfriend broke up, I thought it was the wrong decision, we were at a party, he and I hopped into my car to talk about it, he popped Nevermind into the cd player, and we ended up talking about Nirvana for an hour and a half. That’s how my love was born. (They’re married now, so I suppose everything worked out.)

Naturally, I was at an unhappy place in my own life, so this discovery jettisoned me into a journey of discovery. I researched Nirvana obsessively and purchased Nevermind and In Utero for myself. Those are still the only albums I own. Oh, wait. I do own Unplugged in New York on cassette, but I no longer have a cassette player.

I know I just gushed over Jennifer O’Connor’s ability to tell a story in every song, but I admire Cobain’s ability not to tell stories just as much. His ability, in my opinion, was in finding words that matched feelings whether they made 100% sense or not. For instance, Scentless Apprentice from In Utero. “She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak – I’ve been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks – I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap – I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black.” Hmmmm. There is no way I can translate that into a story that resonates with me personally. But it moves me, and I love it.

Nirvana chose to have wild, emotion-based lyrics that were often drowned out by the loud, hard sounds of the instruments. This is a musical accomplishment of a different sort. Though I had to break out the lyrics book that accompanied the cd before I understood a word they said, I connected with it immediately. The raw emotion embodied in their sound was too strong to ignore.

I associate strong emotion with Nirvana music. I adore watching their videos, and would hang posters all over my walls if I could justify it. Instead, I choose to roll down the windows and turn up their music every time I’m feeling particularly pissed off at or alienated by the world. Nirvana was really on to something. There is no band that can compare to them. When I’m having a “Nirvana moment” only their music can make me feel better.